Archives

All posts for the month August, 2015

In March of 2004 I had to buy a car. My first car, a Dodge Lancer, was given to me by my dad. My third car, a Nissan Maxima, was also donated by Dad’s Used Cars, which meant the only car buying experience I had was when the Lancer died on Sunday morning at 4 AM and I had to have a car that day. I walked onto a used car lot with my horrific credit and then took it up the ass for the next 60 months. $187.50 for 60 months on a used 1992 Dodge Colt. Oh, yeah she was a sweet ride that got me mad play, yo, especially when I would fly at 70mph down Beverly Glen at 2 am. Cell phone vibration ringers have stronger motors. I had no clue what I was doing; I wasn’t reared around “carfolk”. When dad’s Maxima finally died and I approached the age of 30 I vowed it was time I embraced my inner Angelino and got the car I wanted. (Or rather, the best car I could afford. The car I want is a BMW 645 ci.)

I vowed to do all my homework, use the power of that interweb that everyone likes so much, and do it right. I scored! I bought a pristine 1997 Subaru Impreza Outback for below Blue Book value from a private seller on craigslist, financed it through my credit union, and two years later feel like I still did well.

These are the things I learned that everyone else seemed to know:

1) FIGURE OUT YOUR BUDGET BEFORE YOU START LOOKING AT CARS. There is an irrational part of car shopping: a voice that says “I can totally swing this price” when you´re sitting in a rad car that does and has everything you want (cup holders, testicle heaters, and the awesome windows that drop an inch before you slam the door). It is in that moment that you can ruin your next 48 to 60 months, if not your entire credit rating! Car salesmen are prepared to pounce the moment your irrational mind is fixated on how well the car can pass the $100 bill test. They’re scent trained, like dogs. Long ago car salesman figured out how to address the “I only want to pay $X per month” claim and so they bury their markups in the final purchase price of the vehicle. If you are financing the car knowing how much you can pay per month as well as the interest rate you can get is critical! Whenever you buy a car from a dealer, new or used, you always negotiate the FINAL PURCHASE PRICE – NEVER THE MONTHLY PAYMENTS.

I was able to determine my interest rate by qualifying for a loan before I went looking for cars. Talk to your bank or your credit union and secure your financing first. Your credit score determines your interest rate, and your interest rate dictates your payments. Any deviation from this basic formula of finance is a salesman lying to you. The auto dealer won´t talk to you about interest rates or final purchase price because they talk to the finance company directly – and usually they owned or are owned by the finance company. By taking you out of the financing loop they tweak the final purchase price and make their profit in your long term loss. In order to meet your monthly payment they’ll stretch your loan to 60 months or more, long past the vehicle’s life. The salesmen are instructed to get you into a small room, right after the test drive, and present you with a piece of paper. They draw four squares on the paper – it’s even called “four squaring” in the business. They write what you want to pay in the first box and then start wheeling and dealing with their “manager”. The only people winning this game are the salesman (who makes his margin goals) and the bank (who get your interest dollars). Don’t play their game! Know how much you can spend, factor in all the related up front costs including the taxes* and license fees, and don’t give the salesmen the tools to take advantage of you. All they want is to get your signature on a stack of documents chaining you to their finance company, their margins, and their name. Once you leave the dealership they don’t give a rat’s ass about your monthly ability. That’s up to you and the well armed repo man. For a wonderful expose on the car sales business I highly recommend this article, “Confessions of a Car Salesman” from Edmunds.com, written by someone who worked undercover as a car salesman at multiple dealerships. (More on Edmunds below.)

*You have to pay sales tax even on a used, privately sold vehicle. When you go to the DMV to register the car you will pay a sales tax on the final negotiated price (reflected in the bill of sale). This can be a lot out of pocket if you´re not prepared for it.

My father-in-law steered me towards his car broker. Car brokers know the current model lineups as well as any special incentives that may not be publicized. They are also able to get better prices because they’re paid by the car dealers to move inventory without affecting your final purchase price. Finding a good, trusted broker will help tremendously in searching and pricing. You can also buy from them with confidence, but you may have better luck looking for used cars on your own. The broker steered me towards a Honda that I didn’t realize I could afford – but declined because I wanted a zippier car. Even a car broker will need to know what you are going to spend, so the best thing you can do is determine your financial ability before ever sitting in a car.

I got a loan from my credit union (better rates than a dealer would ever give), found out what interest rate my credit rating would yield, and worked from there. It made my decisions much easier as I could quickly rule out cars that were simply out of my price range. I love to drive, but I refuse to go broke over a car.

In brief you need to determine and factor the:
a) interest rate for your loan (cars older than 5 years may add more interest, cars over 100,000 miles also will raise this rate)
b) final negotiated price of the car
c) how much of a down payment you can come up with to offset the final negotiated price (many banks require a minimum of 10% down)
d) sales tax
e) license fee (the DMV charge to register the vehicle)

A note about leasing:

This online tool was invaluable for figuring out how much the car would realistically cost. This calculator checks loan vs. lease rates:

http://autos.yahoo.com/finance/calcloan.html 

When I was looking at leases, the calculators at

http://www.leasecompare.com

were a great help to get a pretty good idea of my overall payments. The most helpful thing about that site is it unveils the mystery ”money factor” cost, which is the depreciated value of the particular vehicle at which you are looking. Leases are determined by how well the car will hold its resale value after you’re done leasing it, which drives up the monthly cost and mileage overage. Your credit also determines this, but those penalties get buried in the interest rate. The dealers will also lower the monthly lease cost by lowering the allotted miles in the terms. $0.15 per mile may seem low, but let’s say you agree to a lease that caps your mileage at 5,000 miles per year, a “commuter car”. You’re likely to go at least 5,000 miles over. That’s $750 per 5,000 miles over. The longer the lease, the higher your likely overages. Watch those numbers!

2) DO YOUR HOMEWORK. Every car that caught my fancy I looked up. There was quite a variance between Edmunds ”True Market Value” pricing and the Kelley Blue Book price, and since my bank would use the KBB to determine value I used Edmunds for specifications and reviews. The site gives detailed information about the vehicle including road tests and interior measurements. This was invaluable in comparing the hundreds of models of cars available, when test driving all of them was impractical. It also gives the JD Power report (if available) as well as average-Joe customer reviews. It took about 1/2 hour for every car I was seriously interested in, and after a while I was getting better at ruling out cars quickly before spending the time to go over them (i.e. which cars hold their value longer, which makers had ”trouble” years, etc.). Like anything, building a working knowledge of something helps you make an informed decision. It also helps narrow what you are looking for.

Use Edmunds.com ! Get the specifications, use the editor´s reviews, and read up on cars!
Edmunds Used car lookup tool
Kelly Blue Book, the de facto standard tool to determine a car’s value

3) ONLY USE THE CAR DEALERSHIP FOR THE TEST DRIVE. Use the internet for everything else. Car salespeople are sleazier than even their reputations bely, and when you´re spending less than $20,000 on a car you get the new guys in dumpy suits who are clearly being broken in. Read the Edmunds.com undercover article for the life of the car salesman for more info, but trust me, the sooner salesmen and their managers are removed from the car buying process the better life will be for customers. My phone is still ringing with calls from slavering salesmen who won’t go away. Even the “no haggle” process has haggle in it! They can lower the value of your trade-in (if you have one) and thus get more from you out of pocket. The Scion is a good example of a no-haggle car, where the Toyota dealership (Scion is a Toyota mark) hands the sales off to the fleet salesperson. It makes for a more pleasant experience in the test drive phase, since the salesperson isn’t going to siphon gobs of money from you. But believe me, they still want the sale!

4) IF BUYING FROM A PRIVATE SELLER GET THE CARFAX REPORT ON THE VEHICLE. Don´t deal with someone who won´t tell you the VIN (vehicle identification number) of their car. The CarFax report will tell you the actual mileage on the car when last it was registered, in what states the car has been registered in, how many owners the vehicle has had, if there are any red flags for mileage or odometer roll-backs, and more. The cost is about $25 for a month of lookups and it’s well, well worth it. craigslist is chock full of people selling salvaged cars – cars that were wrecked, had their title retired, and then were pulled out of the junkyard and rebuilt for sale. These often have undetectable stress fractures in the frame, mismatched parts – Frankencars you don’t want! The first car I ever bought was from a dealer who had welded two cars together to make one cheap one! I only found this out a year after purchase when a friend noticed the metal on the trunk frame was wholly different from the metal behind the door panels!

http://www.carfax.com 

5) GET IT INSPECTED INDEPENDENTLY. If you are looking at used cars from private sellers (and craigslist.orgwas the BEST place to find a used car for me) find a mechanic who will look it over. Get them to tell you what service needs to be done BEFORE you buy. This is something more than just a “car friend” can do. You want an independent mechanic with a portable computer that can read the computer in the car to report service histories and incidents. A good mechanic will look for those mismatched Frankencars and also determine if the car has been chipped, had its odometer rolled back, and identify potential major service problems in the car’s future. Any used car carries risk and for less than $100 and an hour of your time you can eliminate almost all the doubt. You’re about to spend thousands of dollars on a car on which you will entrust your life – don’t cheap out for $100! My father in law just purchased a used Prius and there were a number of service points that would be impossible to determine without professional diagnostic equipment. The more electronics get integrated into cars the more specialized diagnostic tools are required to determine the car’s overall health.

6) BE NICE TO PRIVATE SELLERS! Most private sellers are just normal people looking to get rid of something that’s now a liability. Watch out for scams and rip offs, but being nice will often usurp the ”first come, first sold” mentality on a good find. I wasn’t the first person to look at the car I bought, but I was by far the nicest. (It didn´t hurt that my wife has a Subaru wagon and the seller wanted to sell to a Subaru home.) Make sure you create contracts as you go. The DMV will require a bill-of-sale besides just the title, so make sure you get everything in writing. (A bill of sale looks just like a receipt, with the seller and purchaser contact information on it, the date, a sales price, the thing you are buying, and both of your signatures at the bottom.) My bank would not finance a car unless it was a) smog inspected, b) had an in-state registration that would not expire within 60 days, and c) was selling around or below the Blue Book value. Make sure the private seller has all of these things in place, otherwise you will be paying for it (and paying and paying and paying).

My seller had Oregon tags. Once I determined I wanted to buy the car I took the vehicle to a smog inspection station and paid $60 to have it smogged in California. The information was sent to the DMV instantly. I generated a bill of sale between myself and the seller, which we both signed and witnessed. I paid her 10% of our agreed price. I took the bill of sale to the DMV that afternoon and registered the car in my name, paid the tax and license fees for the car, and received a California registration. I took the registration to my bank, who then issued my seller a check for the remaining balance. This is how nice she was – she trusted that I would come back with a check after she had already signed the bill of sale! Becaue my bank required the car to have California registration I had to register the car *before* the sale was complete. The seller took a huge risk (though we signed another contract that stipulated everything), and I got a great car.

(Since buying my car I discovered that I could have saved myself even more time by doing all of my DMV transactions at AAA. As a AAA member you have access to the full services of the DMV without the grotesque lines.)

Don´t stop looking until you find the perfect car that meets your budget and driving expectations. With so many cars on the road, and so many vehicles coming off leases, there is every car available for every budget and every person. Make a realistic wish list of everything you need in a car and you will find it. I despise shopping, I hate the hassle of looking for the right thing, and it took me a week (about 40 hours of homework, phone calls, and test drives) to find the perfect fit.

Here, then, is a bulleted list of the process:

– Determine your budget: final negotiated price (financed amount + down payment) + sales tax + license fees
– Do your car homework: edmunds.com kbb.comcarfax.com
– Once you find a good car have an independent (not the seller’s) mechanic look at it and verify the condition.
– Verify the seller has everything needed to do the sale (clean title in their name).
– Create a bill of sale, run all the facts over with your bank or finance company, contact AAA or the DMV for an appointment.
– Buy your car!

Update, January 2007:
I leased my first vehicle – a 2007 Audi A4 2.0T Quattro. Audi was running a lease special trying to get people to consider the Audi lines as compared to the much more popular BMW 3 series and Infiniti G35. The special as advertised was no security deposit, no down payment, with destination charges and first lease payment due at signing; lease payments advertised at $359 per month. Now, this was an outstanding deal and I had only just begun to consider leasing a new car. However, after doing some rapid research I found the Audis were a spectacular car at a great price and ran my ass over to the dealer. I took a test drive and loved the car. Since the advertised special was for a specific model series and package there was no haggling, no negotiation, and no pain involved. Also, in the last several years my credit rating had improved dramatically and so I wasn’t worried about getting approval. (The giant advantage of paying off two car notes is that there’s few better ways to boost your credit rating than a repaid car loan.) They didn’t have the color I wanted, but found it in their lot in San Diego. I signed the paperwork and paid $1500 – the destination charge, taxes, license, first payment, etc. After a week there still was no car delivered, and instead of getting angry I told the general manager that I was fine with the delay. They would just have to refund me a week of my lease payments. Ten minutes later my salesman called back to offer me the Quattro (all wheel drive) version of the car (one from their existing lot inventory) at no additional charge! Once I had the new car I put a “for sale” sign up in my Subaru window and posted it on craigslist for $6,000. After a half dozen phone calls and two weeks I found a buyer who paid $5,000 cash. We went to AAA and completed the sale in less than twenty minutes.

More lessons learned:
1) having good credit from repaid car loans gives you a distinct advantage mentally and financially. You can walk away from their shitty deals – or qualify for the really good ones offered to qualified buyers.

2) The tipping point for great customer service is $30,000. The buying experience of a >$30,000 car is night and day from the used car lot. They kept me comfy, they spent a half an hour going over every last feature of the vehicle, I received no less than 3 customer service follow-up calls, and when I came back to have the iPod interface installed they detailed my car gratis.

3) With good credit, knowledge of your limits, and research in hand, you, the buyer, have all the control. The dealership wants to get rid of the cars taking space in inventory. Every car on the lot is a liability against their profits. They want to turn the table on you in any way possible to leverage your want of the car as a psychological ploy to get you to accept their terms. Even though this was a fixed-price situation I was ready to walk away at any point if it didn’t feel right. Knowing I had solid credit, knowing the terms were exactly what I wanted, and knowing that they were motivated to make the sale meant I could apply pressure to get what I wanted. Ultimately, I did even better (a $2,000 feature upgrade) and I absolutely love my car.

I won’t go into full details about everything I’ve learned about buying cars. But in case you are interested, you can read my full advice here. I had been toying with the idea of getting a new car for a while but didn’t want to saddle myself with car payments. I’m a freelance writer and my income is sporadic at best. But in the car world of accounting, a new car has monthly payments while a car you own demands repair costs in large, lump sums. My accountant urged me to lease a car since almost the entire cost could be deducted for my business. I loved the idea of a lease, since I get bored with my cars after two years. No sooner had I decided to start looking for a car then my mother called to tell me about Audi’s end-of-year special moving their Audi A4 2.0T models on lease for $350/mo with no security and no down payment. After some quick internet homework determining the A4 to be a sweet ride, I ran my butt over to Santa Monica Audi, walked in the door and asked the first salesman for a test drive. Sherlock stepped up and we went for a hard-torque spin around Santa Monica. I was sold and began the process. In my relationships with celebrities I’ve had the occasion to witness the spending of vast sums of money on a variety of goods. By and large, money does not always buy customer service. You only have three real cell phone provider options, so the big corporations don’t really care about customer service (you are disposable). There’s few real choices for gas, groceries, and office supplies so you never get a high quality retail experience there, either. But around the $30,000 mark things start to change and Audi of Santa Monica is proof of this. The salesmen are nice. They spend time with you. Get you coffee. Show you all the different goofy things about your new car, like the flip down visor above the rear-view mirror and the meaning of the mystery buttons ever car has these days. When I decided I wanted the A4, they did not have the color I wanted on the lot. They said they would bring one up from Long Beach. After a week, they did not have the car. I called the GM and said that it was fine, I would wait, but the week without the car would need to be refunded or credited to my account. No car, no money. Fifteen minutes later he called back offering me a quattro (AWD) version in the color I wanted at the same lease structure. I absolutely agreed. When I brought my car in to have the iPod interface installed I was given an appointment time and a completed time estimate that they stuck to. I recently brought in my car for its 5,000 mile service, which was included in my car’s lease. I had a few issues I wanted checked and they had a technician drive the car home for the night for diagnosis. They arranged a discount on a rental car, though I was hoping for a courtesy loaner. Finally, until commission sales are removed from the buying experience, and the mystery of different add-ons clarified for the customers up-front, even the best car buying experience will still be short of perfect.

(310) 451-7676, 1020 Santa Monica Blvd, Santa Monica

(888) 426-4435
We’ve had the unfortunate luck to have had to call the ASPCA Poison Control Center several times for our pitbull/Basenji mix. A short list of the things she’s eaten include an old bag of Hall’s sugar-free cough drops, Halloween candy, an entire bottle (90 pills) of colon cleanse tablets, and a full baby diaper (thanks, brother-in-law for not telling us you tossed your spawn’s waste into the trash) which we did not realize until the next day when she pooped out yellow “flavor crystals” that had sucked the moisture out of her body. Each time we’ve called the hotline we’ve been connected to an actual veterinarian quickly, who calmly and methodically had us check our dog for dangerous indications and then researched their expansive database of products for active and inactive ingredients. The times when we’ve had to induce vomiting we were coaxed through the process by the vet and then called back to verify our dog’s health. Their requested donation of around $30 has mutated into a forced contribution of $55 per incident. It’s still significantly less than an unnecessary emergency room visit. But, if it should happen that you need to go to the ER, you’ve done a certain amount of triage that can assist the new vet. I hope you don’t need it, but to crib Steven Pressfield’s description of a Spartan soldier, a dog is little but a mouth, an ass, and an appetite in between.

This is not “manscaping”. In recent years the Metrosexual Male has grown out of its gangly adolescence and into some sort of strange, beastly puberty. Magazines like Stuff and Maxim – at war with their inner Metrosexual – decided that massive doses of misogyny was the solution. I reject this asinine viewpoint and I dare anyone to call me soft while I shave with a straight razor. Stuff and Maxim are an affront to masculinity by their exploitation of women. They might as well don white robes and join the Taliban, these men who believe strength comes through the domination of women. These are the same morons who think you need more than one blade on a razor. The new Gillette Mach 12: The first blade mocks the hair. The second blade talks kindly to it. The third blade lifts up the hair’s spirits so that the fourth blade can circumcise the shaft. The fifth blade is intentionally left blank. The sixth blade ran all the way home… More blades does not make the man! There is power in knowing how to use a straight razor. One man, one blade. You must learn the contours of your face and glide the razor across it while scraping off just the top layer of skin. A straight razor shave requires oils, lotions, and salves that appeal to the love of product, while serving a very real purpose at every stage: not dying by your own hand. The Art of Shaving is one of a few salons for men that offer a classic straight razor shave as well as facials and other folic grooming. They present themselves as a classic barbershop in the model of the opening scene of The Untouchables. They sell their own line of pre-shave oils, shaving soaps and creams, and aftershave balms in a variety of scents and options. I use their unscented line, which has a pleasantly neutral odor. Lemon, lavender, sandalwood, and others are also quite nice. My first visit was for an education. I wanted a traditional shave so I could learn proper technique to perform my own straight razor shaves. My barber was patient in showing me all the details I needed to know in order not to slice my face to ribbons. After much practice with a safety straight razor (purchased at the store) I graduated to a beautiful German-made razor; a gift from my father. I continue to use the Art of Shaving oils and lotions since they make an outstanding product. I also use their badger-hair brush, a variety of which can be found at the store in prices from $50-$500. They also sell gorgeous handled safety razors, mirror sets, and other grooming supplies as individual or gift sets. Have you seen Pan’s Labyrinth? Do you think westerns are manly? Prove you’re a real man – not through the ugly “lad mag” phenomenon, but through dragging precision-honed steel across your face every day without slitting your own throat. The rest of you misogynist pigs can take your weak-ass multi-blade embarrassments and go fuck yourselves.

(310) 785-3993, 10250 Santa Monica Blvd, Los Angeles

I used to consider becoming a grownup the day you take responsibility for your actions. I’m changing my attitude. The day you become a grownup is the day you no longer crave candy bars and chips and instead drool over a salt bagel with manchego and fig jam. The Artisan Cheese Gallery is one of just a few real cheese shops in town, and while their selection is not as expansive as the Cheese Store of Beverly Hills, it is cultivated with care. One could make the argument that it’s not how many Epoisse a store carries, as long as the one stocked is the best. In the case of the Artisan Cheese Gallery, they stock a fine Epoisse, as well as a good spread of everything else (raw sheep, cow, and goat choices, hard and soft cheeses, stinky and non). Their staff is very friendly and those I spoke with knew what they liked and could guide anyone from a novice to a pro chef. They also have a kitchen that serves sandwiches and salads made with their cheeses. I asked for something that would knock my socks off, and they served me a sandwich of duck confit, fig jam, and a mystery white cheese (probably a gouda) on focaccia. It was delicious. Perfect, in fact. I could eat that sandwich every day and die a happy man. I’d die a young, happy man and my epitaph would read, “Became fois gras.” They also have a wide selection of dry goods, pastas and gourmet peanut butters, biscuits and crackers, and anything you might need to put together a cheese tasting party if you found yourself stuck in the valley desperately seeking fromage. (As opposed to being stuck in the valley looking for frottage, which is ridiculously easy to find.) As with all things grownup, expect to pay adult prices for the experience.

(818) 505-0207, 12023 Ventura Blvd, Studio City, CA

This is, hands down, the second best burger in the city. The menu has loads of other choices, all of which look tasty, but God damn is this a good burger. Fresh and tasty beef done right in a red and black room filled with guns. Also a fashionable bar, The Arsenal comes fully loaded with goofball booze concoctions to satisfy your most queer of girl drink drunks (like me).
Update April, 2007: they now offer two new chic options: the diet du jour (bunless burger over salad), and a Kobe beef burger for two and a half bucks additional. The Kobe burger rocks, well worth the upgrade price. The fullness of the Kobe is complimented by an au jous dip and grilled onions. Super tasty!

12012 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles

I grew up a suburban conservative Jew; a third generation American from Ukrainian immigrants who secularized and assimilated. Israel was a concept in prayer and after 1946 a vacation spot, but New York had more to offer east coast Jews than making aliyah (good bagels and a shorter flight). Therefore it came as quite a change to find myself in Los Angeles and meeting Israelis, Jews who made aliyah (the act of going up – used to describe settlement in Israel or approaching the dais in the synagogue), Arabs, Palestinian Christians, and all the other cast of characters who define and belong to the tangible reality of Israel. Los Angeles’ climate has a lot in common with Israel so it is chock full of Israeli immigrants, and if you asked random Angelenos on the street they would probably miscategorize Israelis as being a bunch of very loud Jews. Israelis are proud to nickname themselves Sabras, a prickly desert cactus. Keep this in mind when you visit Aroma, an Israeli bakery catering to expats and valley Jews. Aroma is dairy/vegetarian in order to maintain a glatt (pure) kosher kitchen, but that doesn’t prevent them from having a huge menu of salads, sandwiches, pizzas, and Israeli bakery specialties which are the best reason to go. First, I had the best cup of coffee I’d tasted in the many months since I was in Greece. Then, our table shared a Jachnun, only available on the weekends, an unbelievable pastry dish of layers of dough baked for ten hours and served with tomato dip and tahini. The flavor of the Jachnun is sublime, with every bite like walking into a bakery and taking in the smell of freshly baked bread. I ordered a Malawach roll, a flaky pastry stuffed with hummus and hard boiled egg. The Ziva, also a classic dish baked in their clay oven, is perfect when stuffed with cheese and olives. Already jammed full of bread, we had to order desserts, which were just as incredible as their baked goods. Even though it’s way the hell up in Encino, Aroma is worth the field trip. Plan on dropping thirty bucks for two.

18047 Ventura Blvd, Encino, (818) 757-0477

There’s one waiter at the Apple Pan who is so consistently curt, yet so amazingly efficient, that all the others guys who work the U-shaped counter have to bear the weight of his reputation. Expect at least a ten minute wait for a seat at the counter-only seating, and figure out what you want – quick. Then, as you place your order for a steakburger, don’t be alarmed when your waiter cuts you off and finishes your thought for you. When you’ve only got four things on a menu, with maybe four options on each one, how long do you think you could stand a hundred times a day, “uhhh, the… Uhhh.” It’s just a good thing this guy hasn’t snapped yet and reached across the counter at some poor west sider and gone, “WHAT? WHAT THE CHRIST DO YOU WANT TO EAT? A BURGER? OR A FRIGGING BURGER? MORON!” Beverages served in the classic egg cups you had in school when you were five. And yes, make sure you get the apple pie. It’s on the sign, dummy. It’s good. The prices are shocking for being a lunch counter, but when you exist in the shadow of Nordstrom across the street I assume the real estate price is stratospheric. Two people eating burgers, drinks, and pie will have to shell out twenty five bucks. Whoa!
10801 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, (310) 475-3585

In the past few years street food has taken over haute cuisine so you can feel like you’re cool for paying $13 for a single tasting plate of Spanish food. AOC, from the women who brought you Lucques, does it very well offering a variety of cheeses, meats, fish, and assorted vegetables alongside a generous wine accompanying each dish. This is the kind of menu people call “playful” when they really mean “I paid a lot for little portions.” You’ve got to order five of these bastards to feel like you’ve eaten a meal. The faux wood menu and contemporary design will make you feel like a real foodie schmuck after you’ve eaten $100 worth of food and are still waiting for the entree. Still, the seared fish (you pay extra for it being closer to raw) and lambs are delicious, and the cheese selection is stellar. (It ought to be; AOC stands for Appellation d’Origine Controlé, the French government bureau that is responsible for guaranteeing the authenticity of foods, including cheese. Would you pay $50 per person to eat at a restaurant called FDA?) (Reviewed May 2004)
Follow up – May 2006: A.O.C. still stands as one of the best restaurants in town. But while the food was close to orgasmic in its taste, quality, beauty, and design there were a few things that got under my skin. First, don’t *ever* call something family style when the entire dish weighs less than one ounce. Second, when your table tells you that they would like some cheese, and what was served is thin to the point of transparency, see what you can do about either getting more or doing something nice for them. The overarching attitude of the restaurant as conveyed by our server and the words the place uses to describe itself try to get in the way of what is an extraordinarily good meal. The wine list is amazing with options and prices that will drop your jaw. If you do the full A.O.C. experience with wine, cheese, and at least three dishes per person a group of four will run $100 per person at minimum.

8022 W 3rd St, Los Angeles, (323) 653-6359

There are those who like their red sauces tangy, and they go to Pizza Hut. Those who like it sweet go to Papa Johns. Those of us that like a lot of brown sugar in our pasta sauces can go to Al Gelato on Robertson. The pasta is served family style, from a large bowl. Order the meatball and it’s the size of a baby’s head. The food is good, but save room for the dessert. A vast selection of home made gelato and it’s fanfreakintastic. Apparently, in God they trust, all others pay cash. Greenbacks only! Two people can eat here for twenty bucks, but the gelato will push the tab to thirty – cash only.

806 S Robertson Blvd, Westside, (310) 659-8069